Kids are parenting their moms and dads about oversharing on social media.
A post on reddit is going viral after a middle schooler pleaded for advice on how to stop his mom’s constant invasions of privacy through Facebook posts about his life.
The post is shining a spotlight on a modern problem: Instead of kids having social media before parents like it’s always been, a new generation of breeders now has social media before their kids.
Parents are sharing every proud moment of their babies’ lives. But what happens when those babies grow up, go online, and see that their entire life exists on the web already?
“Ever since I was born, my mom has posted literally every aspect of my life on her Facebook … If we get in a fight, she’s on FB asking for advice,” the reddit post reads.
Though the poster says they asked their mom to stop, she continues. “ I can’t talk to my own mother for fear she’ll post it on social media. I’m her child, not her dog, and I’d like to be treated as a human being.”
Even celeb parents struggle with the balance. Gwyneth Paltrow’s 14-year-old daughter, Apple, recently chastized her famous mom for posting a pic of the two of them on Instagram: “Mom we have discussed this,” the comment reads. “You may not post anything without my consent.”
Internet personality and mom of six Mindy McKnight writes about the dilemma in her new book “Viral Parenting.” “It’s incredibly tempting to post every cute thing your kids did, but remember, the Internet is forever,” she warns. “Your children are entitled to privacy, and as they get older, they might get upset to see something that you thought was adorable but they find embarrassing or revealing.”
Trevor, 25, from Westford, MA, knows what it’s like to have a mom that exploits his life for likes. “[Facebook] is like a blog to her. She’ll write walls of text all the time about anything that’s happening, rambling on and on,” he tells The Post. His mom has been posting one to two statuses a day like this for over a decade.
“It’s incredibly tempting to post every cute thing your kids did, but remember, the Internet is forever.”
Trevor says that him and his siblings are the main focus of his mom’s posts. “[She would] use us to make her look good,” he says. When Trevor failed his first driving test, his mom accompanied him on his second successful try. She bragged on Facebook, “I got Trevor his license,” he says.
When he was in high school, Trevor tried to get his mom to stop. “She was like ‘Just get over it. It’s fine, who cares if people know?,’ ” Trevor says.
Now an adult, Trevor is still constantly untagging himself from his mom’s “embarrassing” posts and photos. He’s since become a “closed door” to his mom and doesn’t tell her anything personal. “If you give her anything, you’ll see a three-page post about it,” he says.
Mom Kate Durben was worried her daughter would put up the same wall after a recent falling out over Durben’s Facebook posts.
“I’m very fearful she’ll start to hold back, I want her to trust me,” Durben, 42, from Silverlake, Washington, tells The Post.
Durben received strict instructions from her 14-year-old daughter to not post any photos of her without permission.
“I wasn’t an avid poster,” Durben tells The Post. “It was just a couple of pictures, I didn’t post drama or private things,” the mom of four says.
But when her daughter left photos of herself on Durben’s phone, she couldn’t resist and shared it. “She was really hurt by that,” Durben says, of her teen. “It was a cute picture, [I] try to justify it,” she says.
Durben says the experience was “an awakening for her.” “Now I’m stepping back and thinking [sharing] hasn’t been a great thing,” she says. She’s started to rethink about how she treats her younger kids on social media as well. “I’m realizing they’re no longer an extension of me.”
She hopes her experience can be a wake-up call for other parents: “When [kids] start to say, ‘I don’t want you to do this anymore,’ respect it the first time.”
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